Week 4 - Loki’s struggle to fit in and make friends

Most of us have experienced a time when we did not fit in or felt abandoned. Loki is a perfect example of waiting to fit in, but always feeling different. Loki was “adopted” by Odin, who is the biological father of Thor. Loki and Thor grew up together, but Loki always felt out of place and isolated. 

There are a couple of ways to look at fitting in. Children try to connect with others through common interests, but it is possible to connect by seeing and respecting each other’s superpowers. 

In today's blog post, we are going to explore how to identify loneliness, abandonment, and sadness and how we can discuss those feelings with our children. 


1. Is it normal to feel left out?
During childhood and especially adolescents, most humans strive  to fit in. They want to form a bond or connection with others through common interests. When interests are not aligned, it is hard to see how to develop meaningful relationships. While it is normal to feel left out, we can talk to our kids about their feelings and ultimately help them to find common interests (or different interests and form a team like The Avengers). 

As much as Loki wanted to fit in with Thor and his friends, Loki always felt different. He learned that he was adopted as an adult, and his father, Odin, defeated Loki’s family and took Loki to raise him as his own. Some children may have the same feeling as Loki, especially feeling different. 

How you can talk to your child: 
“It seems like Loki is always left out, even though he tries to make friends. Loki seems to be different or maybe he feels different. Has there been a time you have felt like Loki? Do you feel different than the friends you have in school or on your [sportsteam]? Is there a friend at school that makes you feel included? ” 

2. Exploring interests to help your child connect to others with the same interests.
Children have many different interests, many of which are different from the norm. It is important to explore your child’s interests and help them to connect with others who may have the same interests. Some children prefer individual sports, while others prefer team sports. Some children prefer science, while others prefer reading. It may be hard to figure out interests, but once you do, your child can connect to other children their age. You can also work on a skills/interest inventory for your child that may help you both understand what they like. 

How you can talk to your child: 
“I was thinking about Loki’s interests and the fact that he is the God of Mischief. It must have been hard for him to live and work around others who were born and raised to be warriors, while he loves playing tricks on others and of course, being mischievous. Do you think he would be happier if he had friends that had the same interests? What are things you like to do that other children in your class do not know about? Would you be interested in trying [activity] to connect with other children who like what you do? 

3. How to connect with others who do not have the same interests. 
As mentioned above, it is possible to connect with others even if you do not have the same interests. While it is more difficult to connect without common interests, we are able to see it more as adults than as children. 

Learning about a new friend and trying their interests can be fun. If a friend attends karate, your child can go to buddy week with them. We may need to get creative to help children connect as it can be hard to see past when children display on the outside. 


How you can talk to your child: 
“Loki seems to feel different, but he also uses those differences to his advantage. He makes friends that have other powers, and they became a great team. Just because Loki has different interests does not mean he can not be part of The Avengers. Are you able to make friends who have different interests, but you can still be friends?”
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To wrap up, here is an example of a script to talk to your child:
“Loki is such an interesting character from the Marvel Universe. While he is considered an Avenger, he never seems to fit in. While he is the God of Mischief, his interests and skills are very different from the other Avengers. 

I wonder what it was like for Loki to be part of a team and not feel connected. Is there a time when you look around and feel different or like you do not fit in? 

One of the cool things about Loki is that he is different from his friends, after he gets to know them and their skills, they form an awesome team. Do any of the kids in your class have different interests, but you are able to still connect? If someone can run fast, and you can throw the ball well, would that make a good football team? 

Making friends and connecting with others happens easily when you have the same interests, but can also happen if you have different interests. It takes time to get to know others, but that is how amazing teams can form, just like Loki and the Avengers. 

Let’s take some time and talk about your interests, your friend's interests, and how you can connect with others your age. I am excited to help you, and we can try out a lot of different things [karate, sports, girl scouts, cooking classes….]. 


I encourage you to comment below or ask questions in the post, I’d love to hear your feedback. 

If you have a question or topic you think would be a good fit, please feel free to email me at [email protected] or if you are interested in scheduling a therapy appointment, click here.